Preview of Coming Distractions (aka: Prayers for Us)

*After finally finishing this eternal post and being, humbly, reminded that I used to criticize others who use their blogs as emotional dumping grounds, I realize that reading the following post may not be up everyone's alley. So, if you're in a hurry or don't have the emotional energy to invest, here's my status in 3 lines:

Busy, but trying not to break down.
Wondering, but trying not to wander.
Distressed, but trying not to doubt.


For you others who like to go through people's emotional dumping grounds, looking for signs of what is to come like an Armenian grandmother reading the dregs of her coffee cup, this one's for you:

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Whew, what a week! Who knew my thirties would begin with such activity?

Since my birthday 2 weeks ago, I have:
*went to a "preggo party" where we swapped stories, gifts, and ate with abandon

*seen Owen read another sight word ("bee") without context clues

*traveled to Texas (and back)

*ate with my mom, dad, brother, and sister-in-law

*attended a wedding for Kris and Abby

*socialized at Richland Hills Church with old friends

*ate with my parents-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, niece and nephew

*sewed up a storm with Mom for my baby and a friend's

*crawled around the Arnold's attic to retrieve baby items held in storage

*taught 2 weeks of school (with one GRRReat day of being called a crude name...and a great day of a written apology by Mr. Potty Mouth to follow)

*took 50 kids on the city bus from Roosevelt HS to Fresno State's library and helped them conduct research with my co-teacher/friend

*attended 2 Lamaze classes (no, it's not just the breathing)

*had one flat tire on the way to work (to my father-in-law, no, I did not change it myself)

*four separate medical appointments (including 4 lbs of weight gain, 1 Rhogam shot, 1 failed diabetes test, and the 3 hour follow up test...results yet to be determined...looking at the above list, perhaps there was too much eating in the days prior to my appointment)

*hosted brother-in-law for the weekend (insert Michael and Bryan giggling like school-girls at dumb jokes and much potty humor while I'm attempting sleep)

So, maybe I need the next Lamaze session to be the breathing class because I'm TRYING to slow down. But, life just keeps coming, no?

The weekend in Texas was REALLY difficult for me. I haven't been that emotional during this pregnancy (I should check with Michael to see how biased that perspective is, but he's at the movies with his brother), but I was overwhelmed with emotions while at "home" and bottled most of them up...only to be released through wracking sobs in a bathroom stall at the DFW airport before boarding back to Fresno.

The year we spent in the Metroplex seems like a figment now...and so I wonder, what will this year in Fresno feel like later? I told my mom that I feel like a person who has a teaching job for a year in one state and KNOWS they should be investing in their state's retirement system because you can't benefit without some initial sacrifice of money and they really don't know how long they'll be there. And so, the worker puts in and puts in, and over time, they do start seeing some dividends on their investment...only to move states after a year. So, do they leave their money behind (to grow at a slower pace) or do they pull it out (with an obvious penalty) to reinvest at their new place?

So, being with family at home, work friends at the wedding, and old friends at church was tough. It reminded me that I do have "accounts" still open, and I need to give them some attention...I can't hole up here in Fresno and shut off old friendships. And, as I returned here, it reminded me that I can't withhold time and energy from people here either just because I'm afraid of the "withdrawal fee" later.

Long, financial analogy aside, I feel like that person (and have been that person in AR, CA, and TX with my money). With every place we move, I have to invest myself. We made a decision long ago when we moved to Pasadena not to hold anything back from potential friends and communities, no matter how long we thought we would be somewhere. But having roots in so many places is difficult. Either you are drained by having connections so far flung (a really wide root system and, yes, I AM grateful for the ability to maintain social connections through technology) or you are stunted by severing ties. I don't know how to give it my all without feeling later that I'm penalized for my investment. So, there were friends that I wanted to see, but I chose not to while I was at home. Not because I don't miss them but because I miss them too much to only spend a rushed lunch on an already crowded weekend. (Forgiveness and mercy, friends whom I didn't see?)


On top of all that (BREATHE), I do not know the answers to the following questions posed to me last weekend by at least more than one person:

*Are y'all going to be in Fresno next year?

*How many job prospects does Michael have in Fort Worth?

*Will you be teaching next fall?

*If you do, who will watch the baby? And Owen?

*If you move, when will you be moving?

*If you don't, how will you afford to stay home if Michael is just starting out?

*How much will those student loans be when he's done?

*Really, you still have the red truck...selling it anytime soon?

*What date will Michael be defending his dissertation?

*Will you be going to his graduation June 13th if the baby is due June 9th?

*What if Michael doesn't pass his licensure exam this summer?

*What are you doing for Owen's birthday April 8th?

*When will you be posting pictures of Owen on your blog next?

*When will be your last day of work before taking maternity leave?

*What will you name the baby?

*Is it a boy or a girl?

All VERY legitimate questions that I too would like to know the answers to, but, for now, only God knows the answers to them. Some of the questions I need to be seeking answers to through prayer to the Lord and the counsel of wise people, and some of them, I need to release from my grip and over-active analysis and give back to Him who is in control...to Him who has called us to this purpose...to Him who has faithfully led us since the days Michael and I accepted His call...to Him who has always invested in us, despite sometimes (no, often), a rather poor return for His sacrifice.


So, could you take a deep breath with us as we plunge into this busy season? Please pray specifically for the following blockbusters in our world of coming distractions:


*Owen's 4th Birthday - April 8th - May he feel loved and celebrated for the joy he is!

*Michael's Dissertation Defense - mid-April - May he be affirmed for his diligence!

*Teaching - May - Have you ever been around a freshman in the Spring? May I have energy to endure and wisdom to decide when to let go!

*Baby - late May/early June? - May he or she be full of life and surrounded by love!

*Graduation - June 13th - May it become a reality and a celebration!

*Job - anytime* Lord! - May Michael use his gift of listening to bless others while being a financial support to our family!

*note my hesitation to say "anywhere" too. The desire of my heart is to be nearer to family, and I feel demanding to ask much more. Still, maybe if YOU ask... :) As if He didn't know my heart already, right?


Please be patient with me.

Natalie

Last Picture Before I'm 30...

Before You File a Missing Persons Report...

Hibernating, nesting, contemplating a Unibomber cabin in the Sierras...whatever you want to call it, I know I've been laying low. A more accurate description would be "laid low". I don't know if it's being 4 years older or having an almost 4 year-old to keep up with, but I'm pooped at the end of the day...and the middle. At least I'm fresh when I wake up, but then again, I've usually been asleep for 10 hours. Enjoying that part while I can, at least...not the collapsing part, but the deep slumber that follows.

Vital Stats:

Height: as tall as a hunched crone

Weight: gaining

Blood Pressure: so low every health care provider must comment but my temper makes me feel like it's about to go through the roof. I have to sing the "Have Patience" song to myself more than Owen

Tummy: getting bigger, measuring at 26 weeks (which I am)...waiting until I'm not wearing pajamas when Michael gets home to take a picture...maybe I'll try in the morning before I leave for work.

Speaking of...if I can't have the baby until the end of the school year, and at the end of the school year, my students are supposed to be ready for geometry...well, I'm never having the baby. California teachers, can you verify that 3rd quarter stinks? Texas teachers, can I get an amen that 4th six weeks reeks? Anyone else, would you be willing to substitute teach for me for the world's longest month: March? Spring break is in mid-April, so, again, "Have Patience".

We have been having fun as a family on the weekends. I've remembered to take the pictures, just not stayed awake long enough to post them at night. So, especially for the grandparents, here is Owen, who is oblivious to the fact that Momma is having a difficult time keeping up:

What have we been doing?




Michael and Owen have been hanging out on Saturday mornings, and I've been working on a few side projects. Monkey cupcakes for all the kids at the Wilkinson's Super Bowl Party, pillowcases for some friends, a patchwork basket & some travel tissue holders for purses (pictures of those later). The last photo is of our family Oscar party food.

On the radio, they were saying that the Oscars are the Female Super Bowl. So, since I consumed enough chips and dips watching the Cardinals/Steelers, I made a girlie meal to watch The Wrestler/The Dark Knight showdown. Homeade quiche, sliced apples, supremed oranges, coffee, and sparkling pomegranate juice...a meal to increase the estrogen in us all. The boys took it in stride, and my main man kicked my butt in the Oscar balloting. Granted, Michael had seen 11 movies compared to my 3, but a girl had to try.

A couple other projects are half-done, but that's a post for another day (or month). I've also been stalking furniture on Craigslist and cloth diapers on eBay. This weekend I hit the jackpot on both (thanks Heather!), so I feel "nested".

But this time, I'll try not to stay in my cave for so long...lure me out with chocolate covered apples or baby name suggestions that will end all arguments between the Mr. and me.

For Laura and the Morbidly Curious

Since Laura tagged me and I can't resist a good game of tag:

5 Things I was doing 5 years ago (February 10, 2004)

1. Teaching 9th grade math in Glendale, CA

2. Interviewing for non-teaching jobs because I was burned out…thank God that didn’t pan out

3. Had a moment around Valentine’s Day where Michael and I thought we would start trying to have kids…a week later we thought “What are we doing? He still has years left of grad school.” and stopped trying. 6 Months later, SURPRISED at a positive pregnancy test.

4. Reading a whole book while floating in a bathtub for 3 hours on a Saturday

5. Living in Selah community with all the other seminary folks from around the world

5 Things on my to-do list today

1. Cook dinner (mini-pizzas with eggplant rounds as “crust”)
2. Order new tennis shoes for Owen online
3. Send Valentine’s cards (yep, they’ll be late)
4. Go on a family walk after dinner
5. Take a deep breath and not grit my teeth at the email that just crossed my desk

5 Things I would do with a million dollars

1. Tithe (seriously, tithing is like the “Jelly of the Month Club”…”It’s the gift that keeps on giving, Clark.”)<--Julie, name the movie quote!
2. Pay off Michael’s student loans (look, I can be long-suffering AND generous)
3. Secure Owen’s educational future...Baby #2, we'll see ;)
4. Consider buying a house…but where?
5. Take the “family” on a European vacation…I use the term family in our sense…Uncle Joe can come…Auntie Rae too….wait, just to have all the people would take up the million dollars. Nevermind, we’ll just rent National Lampoon’s European vacation instead.

5 Places I have lived (present-past)
1. Fresno, CA (.5 years)
2. North Richland Hills, TX (4 years)
3. Pasadena, CA (5 years)
4. Searcy, AR (5 years)
5. Houston, TX (10 years)

5 jobs I have held (present-past)
1. High school teacher
2. PartyLite candle rep.
3. Math tutor
4. Sonic carhop
5. Camp counselor

5 things I want to be doing in 5 years
1. Joyfully raising 2 or more kiddos
2. Rejoicing that Michael is loving life as a licensed psychologist
3. Enjoying hanging out with family nearby and hosting out of town visits from old friends
4. Serving in a community of believers (how?…still figuring out how to best match my gifts/skills with the body’s needs/wants…ask me about the plans I have for a women’s retreat…in my own mind, it’s awesome)
5. Walking confidently with the knowledge that I am living out God’s plan for me regarding my work/career/day job…whatever that may be

5 people I tag

1. Wade because I bet you’ve been thinking about “5 years from now” this stuff lately with the job transition
2. Robyn because I want to know what you’re doing today
3. Kelly V. because I didn’t know you 5 years ago
4. Krystal because I bet you have a great idea for $1,000,000 (not grant money, but personal money for YOU)
5. Stephanie T. because I wonder what jobs you’ve had

And I tag anyone else who is distracting themselves from the real world by imagining our future world…wait, weren’t we told something about that? .

Take heart: Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” You can pick up on my concerns just by reading my “want” list for the future.

And speaking of today’s troubles, I gotta get off my buns and start on that “to-do” list.

And with hands lifted high...

Today, I got the giggles at a blog post from "Stuff Christians Like" (an almost worthy spin-off of one of my brother Lee's favorites, the hilarious "Stuff White People Like").


It's regarding the 10 ways to respond to any song that compels you to lift your hands in worship<----link here

If you're not one of these 10, add your method...sometimes I'm "The Popsicle", aka "The Frozen Chosen"...the more people around me express themselves, the more I tend to freeze up, like it'd be too much for us ALL to be praising without abandon AT THE SAME TIME!

And if the worship leader "suggests" for us all to lift our hands, I'm "The Indignant One". The more you want me to do it, the more I cross my arms in front of me, sometimes with the Colbert eyebrow. I know, I have issues. You can save those comments and concerns for prayers on my behalf.

But if I'm truly relaxed and into it (last true time was when Phil Wickham came to RVC in October...yikes!), I'm more "The Miss America" or "Single High Five".


So, who are you?

Reconstructive Surgery, Finishing Touches, and A Day at the Lanes

You remember him, right? I can only name you a surrogate Auntie or Uncle of Owen if you know the bear's name. Otherwise, you're just a poser.


This sale-bin bear was not our original plan for Owen's cuddly item. Oh no. Our Pasadena neighbor Alison gave Owen a darling little lamb that he loved for the first 6 months of his life. So much so that I thought ahead to order several more...since a white lovie is a dirty lovie...and as a first time mom, I didn't want him to have to wait while he was in the washer. Well, Owen's love for Louis the Lamb (and Louis the II, III, and IV) was tested while the grandmothers were in town visiting. They took Owen for a walk and forgot the lamb. Walking down Lake Avenue, south of Colorado, their docile grandson turned more vocal, shall we say. Finding themselves without a comfort item, quick thinking Sushi bought a Halloween bear (discounted dramatically since it was November). You know how she loves a sale. And since most of you have never seen a lamb at our house, you can guess how quickly Owen embraced his new love...and dropped Louis like a bad habit. 3.5 years later, this orange bear with pumpkins on his paws looks like this:



Floppy neck, 3 torn paws, and one that finally busted to release its bag of silicone beads. Thank you to the manufacturers for sewing them up in a little nylon bag in anticipation of this day. Since she was the one who started this mess, Sushi came to the rescue while we were in Texas to restore Spooky Bear to his previous glory. Restuffed and repawed, we felt like the old man in Toy Story 2 (except we didn't tell Owen "for display only!" when we returned it to him). Results:

Yep, she even monogrammed his name. Owen loves how his bear "grew" because he's made reference several times to the fact that Spooky is not growing at the rate Owen is and that he will not relinquish the bear to the baby. He has volunteered to find another bear for the baby when "she" (says Owen) arrives.

So, here's to Spooky Bear...may you survive to stowaway in Owen's suitcase to college!

Moving on...here's a travel pillow/nap pillow I made for one of Owen's classmates for his birthday. O-man picked out the fabric.
Also, we finally got bedding for his bed. Grandmom got the denim comforter, Mom made the pillow, and eBay helped someone recycle the bedskirt and window valance. And, yes, I know they're vertical blinds; another issue for another day.





These posts are mostly for family who needed updating, so for you...I made pillows to match the back of the t-shirt quilt Mom made for Christmas. Here they are on our bed.

And for the grandparents and surrogate aunties and uncles...here the boys are bowling. Owen has put this on his calendar (literally a post it placed there Tuesday for Saturday) all week. He and Michael bowled one game. We weren't sure how the "experts" feel about me bowling, so I sat out...but, honestly, that was more to save my money for snacks instead of shoe rental...it's pricey :)


He was very serious. You know, those "expressive eyebrows" as Rhea Sid. calls them.
Ha! Can you believe this guy? Distract him with the thought of a 3 year old running up behind him and he bowls a 102!!!! With bumpers!!! HA!
These sweatpants are a tribute to Owen's Uncle Rodney. Giggle if you know what my mom calls them.

Two posts in one month? May two Mondays off in February bring you more pictures, more interesting posts than mine, and less use of ellipsis. I'm too tired to think of transitional phrases between thoughts so...

I wanted to title this post "Now I know Why Some Animals Eat Their Young", but lucky for us all, posting about some sweeter Owen milestones has made me forget (almost) what a horrible evening we had.

Oh, and for those keeping track at home...I'm 22 weeks along...ultrasound tech wanted to change the due date to May 31st, but let's stick with the original June 9th. Makes me feel like I'm honoring more of my teaching contract to the 12th that way. Baby's movin' and groovin'. Owen's response to the kicking was "Mom, she's playing hi-ya in your tummy. She's going to box your belly open and it will crack like an egg!" I'll leave you with that mental image. He had sound effects too, but that just might be too much.

First Time for Everything...

With the big 3-0 looming (March 7th, mark your calendars), I guess I needed to know that you can teach an old dog new tricks. So, after much time helping my mom complete some sewing projects of her own (see later photos), I returned to Fresno with her old machine to begin some of my own.

Below is my first solo project since that sewing class I audited in college (yes, I'm a nerd who audited a sewing class). I saw a bag like this on the Internet but no pattern. So, I modified a crayon bag from these instructions to make a half crayon bag/half hot wheels bag for Owen.

One side holds 10 crayons and the other holds 4 Hot Wheels (or Thomas Trains for those of you whose child has that obsession...and God bless you on that one). It's lined in black and is a great size for coloring books and such. The next one I will make an inch or two wider and taller and, maybe, box the bottom corners.

Owen picked out the fabric, and I worked on it yesterday morning while the boys were playing Wii boxing at a friend's house. I had it ready after nap time, and he's been wearing his man purse ("murse") ever since. So, I've found a new way to have some quiet time without the boys. Now, when can I send them away again? ;)

Here are some of the pillowcases my mom and I made together over the holidays...she's already made more for several of her friends who are ill or super stressed, but these are mostly kid- themed and for Owen to take to Casen's birthday party, for his daycare napmat, and for his new bed (the cowboy one). Pattern


While I'm on the world's longest post, here are some photos of the t-shirt quilt Mom and a friend made for me for Christmas. She made my brother one too, but I don't have his photos. It has t-shirts from junior high quiz bowl, high school sports, mission trips, summer camp, and college stuff. So, most of you readers were there for a least one event on this quilt. I will think of you often. She did the back in a toile that matches my bedspread, so I can have it at the end of the bed. All the fabric that connects the t-shirts has prints of places around the world...most of them places I've been.



Such a thoughtful gift, right? I love it and know it will be something I have for life. If you know my mom, I hope you will agree with me that one of her love languages is "gift-giving". How many of you still have a travel pillow from a trip to Mexico or have ever had her make you a meal at our home? For a lady who doesn't have a lot of time, she amazes me what she gives to others.

Gleaning from Proverbs 31:

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.<-----or selects great fabric on sale at JoAnn's

She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.<-----did you see the food she made for Christmas?

She gets up while it is still dark; <----her work hours are crazy

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls.<----and she treats her staff there like family

She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.<----no vineyard, but they did make a porch

She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,<----eBay, anyone?

and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.<----ask her about her new sewing machine

She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.<----"don't want you looking like a raggamuffin, Nat"

She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.<---Shout out to Dad too!

She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.<----IDK, but I know all merchants smile when they see her coming. :)

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.<----funny lady, no?

She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.<----any teacher she mentors is a lucky educator

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.<----"do something for the good of the cause, Nat"

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.<----or on the Internet

Thanks Mom...can you tell I miss you?

Okay, now that my emotional-preggo self is done for the day (I cried reading the obits this morning too), I bid you "Good day!"